Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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