At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
