I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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