I just made out with a guy for $7.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
