somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Randomize
