jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
