That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
