She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
