You're my little dorito
I need help removing her.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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