I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Two words: nipple clamps
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