yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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