Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
