So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize