white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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