I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
