i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
