I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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