I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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