Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
