you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
