Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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