Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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