my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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