I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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