he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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