I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
oh god the rape fog is back!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
