i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She told me I should be a condom model.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
