You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
