everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
