our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
