Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
