my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
