none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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