Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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