i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
