Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
