yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize