im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
