i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
His nipple licking is glorious
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