he told me I talked like a deaf person
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
