I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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