Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
