Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
