You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
