you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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