tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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