Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
