If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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