It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
