Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
