If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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