the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
