grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I came so hard my ears popped.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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