I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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