Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
