You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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