I just cut my nipple shaving
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
