She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So vagazzling was a success
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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