I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize