Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
