Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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