There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
