so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
