I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
