but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
