i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
