sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
