Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
