The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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