Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
