I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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