The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
