sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
