This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
