Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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