and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize