he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
