i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
