So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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