I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
