Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
