ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh god it's open bar.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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