just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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