If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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