Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
why is half of my head shaved?
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