you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
