She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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